What could have been a lovely JS story
by Emerald The Lady Destiny
Summary: It started out all right. Just a nice, sappy, romantic little J/S one-shot. Then Jareth and Sarah had to add their two cents, and it ended up as one big mess. I hope you enjoy this little bit of humorous nonsense. Please R/R!


What could have been a lovely J/S story...  
  
  
  
  
  
I'm insane. No, really, I've always suspected it, but it's right at this moment that I finally realized it. Anyway, my God, I'm actually writing some fanfiction again? Must be a sign of the apocalypse. Or at least a sure-fire sign J's going to suspend me over the Bog. Again. Oh, and as for the influx of breakers, don't mind them, it's the only way stupid Word will let me work this thing. Anyhow, hope you enjoy this little bit of insanity, and remember to review!  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Jareth, Sarah, and anything else pertaining to the Labyrinth is not mine, neither is Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or anything else I might mention that you know I don't own. I do however own myself, at least last time I checked.  
  
  
  
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What could have been a lovely J/S story...  
  
Jareth, King of the Goblins, Master of the Labyrinth, wearer of far too much make-up for any man who is NOT a drag queen, and (possible) wearer of a sock in a certain area of his far-too snug tights...well all right we all know it's a sock. At least, pretty damned sure...   
  
  
  
Tim the Enchanter, The Old Man, and various assorted knights: Get on with it!  
  
Emmy: Meep! Yessirs! And hey, get back to your movie, this isn't a crossover!  
  
  
  
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Jareth, King of the Goblins, yadda yadda, was brooding. Again.  
  
Jareth: You're writing again? Magic help us all. And I do not brood.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Yah! Don't sneak up on a girl like that. And you do so brood.  
  
Jareth: Do not.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Do...oh no, I am not getting into a 'too' 'not' fight with you. We're not six years old...even if you do have the maturity of one.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Keep this up and I'll...  
  
  
  
Emmy: *mimics* Tip you headfirst into the Bog of Eternal Stench before you can blink. Yes yes, I've heard it before. Now may I get back to my fic?  
  
Jareth: If you must.  
  
  
  
Anyway! Jareth was brooding, yet again. About the mortal girl who had stolen his heart.  
  
Jareth: Gag me.  
  
  
  
Emmy: That could be arranged, you know. Now shut it, Sockman.  
  
  
  
She had stolen his heart, and unwittingly smashed it into a thousand pieces, and put it in the blender on frappe.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Lovely visual.  
  
Emmy: Silence! Or I will be forced to take drastic measures!  
  
  
  
Jareth: I quake in fear.  
  
  
  
Yet his traitorous heart still longer for her, even three years after her ordeal through his Labyrinth.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Why do all your stories make her at least 18?  
  
  
  
Emmy: Because as much of a romantic as I am, I still think it's wrong, to bring you and her together when she's under-aged. Now shush!  
  
  
  
Admittedly, three years was not a long span, in the life of a Fae. But it certainly seemed so, without his Sarah by his side.  
  
Jareth: Oh for the love of...  
  
Emmy: Quiet!  
  
  
  
"I wonder," he pondered aloud. "Does she still think of me as well?"  
  
Jareth: And now I'm talking to myself. Make me look like a lunatic.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Not exactly a difficult thing to do.  
  
  
  
As it happened, Sarah was thinking of Jareth at that moment.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Because such coincidences are needed for stupid plot devices.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Do that ONCE more, J, and the drastic measures will come into play.  
  
  
  
Sarah sat at her vanity, brushing her long dark locks. She was thinking about her journey through the Labyrinth, more specifically of a certain King.  
  
  
  
"He must hate me."  
  
  
  
Sarah: Why is it in these I'm almost always in front of a mirror?  
  
  
  
Emmy: Gah! You too? Just my luck. Both of you, keep quiet!  
  
  
  
"I mean, why shouldn't he? He offered me so much, and I threw it back in his face. What else could he do, but hate me?"  
  
  
  
Jareth: My, aren't we the self-pitying one.  
  
Emmy and Sarah: Shove it, Goblin King!  
  
  
  
It had been too late, when she realized just what he'd been offering her. She'd been too blind to see it, too intent on rescuing her brother.  
  
  
  
Sarah: Well I couldn't very well not come back with him. "Yeah, Dad, Karen, I lost Toby to the King of the Goblins! So, how'd the night out go, hmm?" That'd go over soooo well.  
  
  
  
'Fear me, love me, do as I say'. It was amazing, when one thought about it, how much they sounded like wedding vows. 'Love, honor, and obey'.   
  
  
  
Emmy: And before either of you say anything, admit it, it's true.  
  
Jareth: Maybe a little.  
  
  
  
Sarah: Just a tad.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Yes! Score one for me!  
  
  
  
But it was too late now. The words had been spoken, any chances were gone. And she was left with what-if's and might have been's, and a broken heart.  
  
  
  
Sarah: I am so not this melodramatic.  
  
Jareth: Aren't you?  
  
Sarah: Oh shut up.  
  
  
  
And a broken heart, like the truth, hurt like hell.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Blatant lyric insertation!  
  
  
  
Emmy: Guilty.  
  
  
  
But what if...what if she were to call on him? Would he laugh at her?  
  
  
  
Jareth: Good, long, and hard.   
  
Emmy: Must ignore how dirty that sounds....must keep self from making raunchy comment...anyway...  
  
  
  
Or would he just use the opportunity, to exact some horrible revenge upon her?  
  
  
  
Sarah: Wouldn't put it past him.  
  
  
  
It wasn't like it really mattered. She would never be able to bring herself to call on him.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Then WHAT is the point of this drivel?  
  
Emmy: *blinks* A point? There was supposed to be a point? I didn't get that memo...  
  
  
  
Jareth: *growls* Don't make me sic the cleaners on you.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Woo, down boy! No need to get your tights in a twist! And it -could- be worse, you know.  
  
Jareth: Oh, and how's that?  
  
Emmy: I could have made it a song-fic.  
  
Jareth: *shudders*  
  
  
  
Or could she?  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back down in the Underground, a land serene, which supposedly had a crystal moon...  
  
  
  
Jareth and Sarah: GET ON WITH IT!  
  
  
  
Emmy: Jeez, a couple some bodies are certainly cranky...  
  
  
  
Jareth had decided, though he swore he never would do so again, to look in on Sarah, with one of his crystals.  
  
  
  
Sarah: Peeping Tom.  
  
Jareth: I am not!  
  
Sarah: You are so!  
  
Emmy: Don't make me say Ni to you both...  
  
  
  
Three years of life had turned his Sarah even more beautiful, if that were possible. But her eyes held such sadness. Could that sadness be in regret, from what had transpired between them? No, that was preposterous.  
  
  
  
Jareth: I think I may retch.  
  
Emmy: NI!  
  
  
  
"If you would only call me, Sarah. Merely speak my name, and I could be at your side in an instant."  
  
  
  
Emmy: Excepting for tailwinds and costume changes.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Now you're interrupting it yourself.  
  
  
  
Emmy: Gah! I am...bad me.  
  
  
  
Sarah turned her head. She could have sworn she heard Jareth's voice.  
  
  
  
Sarah: Because we have some weird, psychic link, of course.  
  
Emmy: Hey, wouldn't be the first time I heard something like that in a fic. Now shush.  
  
  
  
Great, now she was hearing things. She must be going crazy.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Going?   
  
  
  
Sarah: Not funny.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Really? I found it hilarious. Really though, if anyone's crazy around here, it's Emmy.  
  
  
  
Emmy: And damn proud of it, baby.  
  
  
  
But what if...? Damn it, she was tired of these doubts! She had to know once and for all.   
  
  
  
"Yes Sarah, say my name. Please love, just say it."  
  
  
  
Emmy: *singing* Say my name, say my name...*coughs* Yes, anyway...  
  
Sarah: You're losing it.  
  
Emmy: Honey, I never had it to begin with.  
  
  
  
Sarah looked at her reflection once more, before closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the whiniest one of all?  
  
Sarah: Bite me.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Tempting, but I'll refrain for now.  
  
  
  
Sarah: *blushes* Not funny.  
  
  
  
Jareth: Wasn't meant to be, my dear.  
  
Emmy: Hey, you two, with the raging hormones? Keep it down until the end, huh? Honestly.  
  
  
  
"Jareth, I need you."  
  
  
  
She waited, not daring to open her eyes. Moments passed. He wasn't coming. At that realization, a tear fell, unbidden, down her cheek, as she stood, and turned to prepare for bed.  
  
  
  
Jareth: All that for nothing?  
  
Emmy: Wait for it...  
  
That was when strong arms wrapped around her, and a voice said softly in her ear.  
  
"What took you so long, love?"  
  
Sarah: Why is it you -always- have to have some line, some way of making an entrance.  
  
Emmy: 'Cause he's a drama Queen, duh.  
  
Jareth: I am no such thing.  
  
Emmy: Uh huh, suuure.  
  
"Jareth?" she gasped, turning in her seat to look up into a pair of mismatched eyes gazing at her.  
  
Jareth: Which no one can ever get the color right!  
  
Sarah: Hey, they aren't much better with me. I've seen everything from blue, to green, to hazel, and back again.  
  
Emmy: Don't suppose it'd do any good to tell you both to shut up, right?  
  
Jareth: Can't imagine why.  
  
Emmy: Thought so.   
  
Jareth chuckled. "You were expecting someone else, my dear?"  
  
"I...I didn't think you would come."  
  
Sarah: Being too busy snatching little children, and all.  
  
Jareth: I do not snatch!   
  
Emmy: Hey, round one, ding ding! Go to your mutual corners.  
  
"I will always come, when you call me, dearest Sarah."  
  
Jareth: You know, I'm not above retching all over you, Emmy.  
  
Emmy: And I'm not above shoving a crystal up your...  
  
Jareth: Tsk, tsk, PG rating!  
  
Emmy: Oh fine.   
  
Jareth brushed a hand across her cheek; Sarah noticed idly that he wasn't wearing gloves.   
  
"I love you, you know." He said softly.  
  
"I know. I love you too." Sarah replied, smiling.  
  
"Will you come back with me the?" He asked. "Come back, and be my Queen?"  
  
"I thought you'd never ask."  
  
And as their lips met in their first, gentle kiss, one just knew, that like the fairy tales Sarah loved so much, that they would live Happily Ever After.  
  
Jareth: What a sappy, sentimental piece of rubbish. I thought even you were above this, Emmy.  
  
Emmy: I'd like to hope I am. Maybe it wasn't about the fic, J-man.  
  
Sarah: What are you...*realization dawns* Oh no, no no no. We can't -stand- each other.  
  
Jareth: *realizes what Emmy means also* Can't go two sentences without arguing!  
  
Emmy: And my husband and I are always doing the same thing. But we've known each other long enough to know that it's all meant in fun, that we don't really mean it.   
  
Sarah: Great for you both, but seriously, Jareth and I hate each other.  
  
Jareth: Well hate is a rather strong word.   
  
Sarah: Yeah, I guess that's true. All right, we strongly dislike each other.  
  
Jareth: Can't be in the same room with each other for longer than five minutes without fighting.  
  
Sarah: Exactly.  
  
Emmy: Fine, I give up, you two win.  
  
Jareth: Hurrah for us. So, Sarah, how about we go out and celebrate our victory over Destiny? Not many people can say such a thing, you know.  
  
Sarah: Sounds delightful.   
  
Emmy: *shakes her head, as the two disappear* Poor, deluded fools. They have no idea they just lost. *clears throat*  
  
And once again, The Lady Destiny triumphed over mortals, and a certain blonde haired Fae who thinks he's so smart (which he's NOT!) and proved that too much hairspray can make you lose brain cells. And to not wear tights that are too snug for you, because among other things, it can cut off circulation to your brain. Among other parts, anyway, and I still think it's a sock...  
  
Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Fiiiine, jeez, everyone's so cranky today! Where was I? Oh yes...*clears throat*  
  
The End  
  
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Like I said, I'm insane. Oh, and no offense is meant to anyone who has actually written a fic like that, and admit it, most of us have at one time or another. I love a good sappy one-shot J/S fic as much as the next gal. This is all in just good, light-hearted fun. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it, and remember.......  
  
"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"  
  
Emerald, The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan 


End file.
